Some of your most difficult conversations about your surgery may be with your own family. Some family members react well to the idea and others might not. Here is what some teens said about their family’s reactions.
"My older sister sat down with me and said, ‘You don’t know what mom is going through. You’re going through it, but mom is going through it too. You don’t let her express (herself).’"
"I first heard that I was going to get surgery from my mom. She called my whole family and then I just told all my friends, and now they’re going to come and visit me."
"Like, I’m anticipating (the surgery). I wasn’t worried about it at all but my whole family is more worried about it than I am so that’s making me worried."
"I always make jokes about it. My sister makes jokes too. She’s like, ‘You know what, pretty soon if I go like this with a magnet, you’re going to come to it.’ We just make jokes about it, like she’s going to stick fridge magnets to me. It’s funny. ‘Cause you kind of let go of it... we’ll be fine."
"I was fine, but my parents were freaking out. When I saw that they were scared, I knew that I had to pull it together and be strong. When the nurse came to walk me to the operating room, I looked back as she talked to me and I could see my mom start to cry."
"The day of my surgery, I was still able to remain calm about what was in store for me. Meanwhile, both of my parents were terrified and scared for their little girl. As I was saying goodbye to both of my parents, I could see in their eyes that they were terrified and sad to see me go into such an intense operation. Knowing that, I knew I had to make them happy, so I reassured them both. I let them know that everything would be okay and that I was in good hands."
"My mom, every time she tells someone that I had surgery, she’s like, ‘Oh yeah and when she gets older she’ll be able to have kids. It’s all perfectly fine.’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, you really want grandchildren, mom.’"
Communicating and coping with your family
The decision to go through surgery is a major one for you and your parents. Try to be patient and understand their point of view. What they are worried about may be different from what you are worried about.
Here are some tips for communicating and coping with your family:
- Talk about your reasons for wanting or not wanting to have surgery with your parents.
- Don’t be afraid to show your parents that you are feeling stressed out or scared. You are going through this together as a family. You aren’t alone.
- Your family may go through some changes around the time of your surgery. This is normal.
- You may rely on your parents for things you normally do for yourself. This may be tough because you enjoy your independence. Don’t worry, you will be back to normal soon.
You may notice that your parents are overprotective of you, even for some time after you have recovered. Remember this is because they love you and worry. Be patient. Gradually show them you are better and are able to do more, and quietly talk with them about what you feel you are able to do now. They will gradually see you are okay again, and give you more independence.
The remaining pages in this section talk about how to cope with other important people in your life such as your girlfriend or boyfriend, your friends, your schoolmates, and your employer.
