Your boyfriend or girlfriend

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Learn some tips for communicating and coping with your boyfriend or girlfriend's reaction to the news that you need to have scoliosis surgery.

Key points

  • Your boyfriend or girlfriend might react differently than the way you expect them to when they hear that you need surgery.
  • To help cope with your boyfriend or girlfriend's response, provide them with information about the surgery, be clear about your expectations and need of them, and accept that their support during your recovery may not be as strong as other people's.

Boyfriends or girlfriends might not react the way you expect them to when they hear that you need surgery. They might take the challenge of helping you through surgery head on. On the other hand, your surgery might be too much for them to handle. Here is what a couple of teens experienced with their boyfriends when they had surgery.

"When I went in for surgery, I had a boyfriend at that time. And I was just wondering, is he going to really stick around? We eventually never really did work out because he wasn’t for the whole surgery thing. So after going through surgery and knowing that he wasn’t going to be there, that really hurt. But it’s always good to know. You think you know someone until something like that happens."

"The boyfriend I had when I was going through the surgery, I didn’t think he was going to be there for me because we were only going out for a few months. I was kind of hesitant about him coming to the hospital to see me all drugged up and everything. But then I realized that he was there every day. He was my moral support basically."

Communicating and coping with your boyfriend or girlfriend

There is no way for you to know how someone will react to the news that you need surgery and there is no way you can control their response. Here are a few tips for coping with your boyfriend or girlfriend:

  • Provide them with information about scoliosis and what surgery will involve.
  • Be open, honest, and clear about your expectations and needs before and after surgery.
  • Accept that some people might be better supports than others during your recovery.
Last updated: June 1st 2008